Welcome to “Can we say?”, a new monthly column where URelles answers questions about inclusive language. Got a question for us? Write to info@urelles.com and we’ll get back to you. It’s all anonymous.
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“When a person identifies with the pronoun “she”, is her gender identity necessarily that of “woman”? Can we then say “hello girls”?”
The role of the pronoun
Let’s start by understanding the fundamental role of the pronoun, that little word that replaces a person’s name in conversation. Although generally in line with a person’s gender, it’s essential not to assume pronouns. We mustn’t rely solely on a person’s gender expression, such as the way they dress or comb their hair, or on our perception of them, nor must we assume their gender identity solely on the basis of the pronouns used.
Pronoun ≠ gender
The use of the pronoun “she” does not necessarily mean that the person identifies as a woman. For example, some non-binary people prefer to use “they/them” in English, but opt for “he” or “she” in French for the sake of simplicity. Similarly, a person may have several pronouns or choose a non-binary pronoun like “they/them”. So, if her gender is fluid or non-binary, she may use different pronouns.
It’s also important to take into account the way adjectives are agreed, especially in French. Using the pronoun “iel” does not automatically guarantee neutral agreements. A person can use “they/them” with neutral chords (such as “skillful”, “brave” or “calm”), feminine chords, or alternate between masculine and feminine chords. The same applies to the pronouns “he” and “she”.
How do I know?
When you don’t know a person’s pronouns and agreements, it’s best to simply ask them. The trick is to refer to the way the person talks about themselves and the words they use to identify themselves. You can also mention your pronouns and agreements to open the discussion and invite the other person to respond by mentioning theirs. This avoids leaving the burden on the other person to assess whether it’s safe to disclose.
Do we really need it?
Finally, while phrases like “Hi, girls!” may seem inclusive to some people, it’s important to exercise caution. What’s the real need for a gendered term here? In addition, a term like “girls” is usually used to refer to children or younger people rather than adults. This can be perceived as condescending, especially coming from someone in authority.
We recommend avoiding the addition of “the girls” to greetings that might simply be “Hi!” or using an expression implying the mixed nature of the group such as “Hi everyone!”. We’re used to gendering, but our real need is to greet a group of people, regardless of their gender identities.
In conclusion
In short, a person’s gender identity cannot be assumed. Using the right pronouns, agreements and other gender markers is essential to respecting each person’s identity. In this article, we wondered whether we could immediately associate the pronoun “she” with female gender identity. The answer is no, since gender is fluid and more nuanced than a male-female binarity. As far as gendered greetings are concerned, it’s important to avoid assuming the gender identity of the people in the group unless you know it for each of them. Binary terms such as “guys” and “gals” are not inclusive of a multitude of gender identities, even though the gender expression of those involved may appear typically masculine or feminine.
Did you notice that this text was written inclusively? Was it heavier or harder to read? Maybe your brain didn’t even notice it, and you were thinking how nice it was to read (thanks!). Were you persuaded to do the same next time?
If you don’t know how, URelles offers training in inclusive writing. Contact us!
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